Regardless of why, we all have films that we hold close to our hearts but may be embarrassed to admit it. I'm no exception. So, I figured a great way to kick off my Ten Top Ten would be to eschew any potential pretensions I may have and level with you. I like some really terrible movies. Fair warning: you may be shocked, repulsed or downright disturbed by what you you are about to see. These are my cinematic guilty pleasures.
10. The Notebook
Though it's status has been slightly diminished by the onslaught of Nicholas Sparks imitations (mostly, from Sparks himself), I still stand by the fact that The Notebook is one of the best and most enduring pure-romance films of the past decade. It's undeniably romantic, eminently quotable and is quite possibly the greatest date movie of all time. Plus, the chemistry between Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams is electric, and solidified them as two of the more bankable stars in Hollywood. It's time to man up, boys, and admit to the world that this movie makes you cry, and you love every second of it
9. Last Action Hero
Framed around the story of a boy who somehow finds himself transported into the fictional world of his favorite action movie, I still maintain that Last Action Hero is one of the more brilliant satires out there. Arnold Schwarzenegger, being the good sport that he is, sends up the action movie cliches that he helped establish and gives a winking, self-deprecating performance as Jack Slater, a stereotypical action hero who is eventually thrust into the real world and no longer bound by the rules of movies. It's not always as clever as it thinks it is and the kid is quite annoying, but it's all in good fun and there are some interesting musings about the relationship between a writer and the characters that he or she creates. For a young boy (me) who grew up on action flicks, it's quite magical. Plus, it has a scene with Arnold as Hamlet. What more could you ask for?
8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This one coasts by almost entirely on nostalgia. I can't tell you how many times I watched this movie as a kid. So much so that I was still able to quote most of the film many years after I had moved on from the lovable heroes in a half shell. Looking back, I'm surprised by how dark the film is (both in terms of storytelling and the visual palette) and by how much the animatronic turtle suits still hold up, especially since little else does. Still, it's so goofy and unpretentious that I can't help but love it. It's a story about humanoid turtles... that are ninjas. What you see is what you get. Oh, it also spawned a sequel. And this slice of fried gold.
7. Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie
This is another staple of my childhood. Aside from Back to the Future, I've probably seen this movie more than anything else. It is simply... AWESOME! There, I said it. The film opens with a fairly exhilarating sky-diving sequence, has an army of ooze people, some re-animated dinosaur skeletons, giant robots and rollerblading. ROLLERBLADING! (I was tempted to write this whole thing in all caps.) It's so over-the-top, unapologetically cheesy and filled with cringe-inducing, pun-laden dialogue (my favorite line: "I have a bone to pick with you!"), it's understandable that people loathed it. However, my love of the show and the mega scenery-chewing of Paul Freeman as the film's villain, Ivan Ooze ensures that I'll never conform to the majority opinion. I'm a Ranger for life.
6. The Boondock Saints
"The Boondock Saints is great!" you say? Well, I think so too, but hop over to it's Rotten Tomatoes page for a second and check out it's approval rating. Go ahead. I'll wait...
20 percent. 20 PERCENT! There are more critics out there that like That's My Boy than The Boondock Saints. Think about that for a moment. It's almost enough for me to reconsider my job aspirations. For those that haven't seen it, all you need to know is it has the man who eventually becomes Daryl Dixon, and Willem Dafoe dresses in drag. You're welcome.
5. Bad Boys II
...is such a bad movie. It's absolutely horrible. It's profane, cruel, beyond stupid, waaaaaayyyyy too long, ugly, Martin Lawrence, and morally repugnant to even the most open of minds. But, Michael Bay's single-minded insistence on topping himself with escalating action set pieces is mind-boggling. Say what you will about the man as a director, but he really knows how to blow stuff up in the most spectacular of fashion. Skip all the stuff in between and marvel at how much destruction the Fresh Prince and Big Momma can cause without consequence. Dare I say, it's a work of art.
4. Little Nicky
This one gets points mostly for the fact that it's easily the weirdest thing that Adam Sandler has ever done and, by extension, one of the most creative. This zany high-concept comedy tasks Sandler with playing Nicky, the sweet-natured son of the devil (Harvey Keitel in a perfectly nutty performance) who must go to Earth to prevent his two brothers from literally unleashing Hell there. Filled to the brim with a cast of funny faces and excellent cameos (including Quentin Tarantino as a blind doom-spewing priest), the movie is so wacky that it's impossible for me not to succumb to its odd charms.
3. Joe Dirt
Some people would probably rather have Christopher Walken stab them in the face with a soldering iron than to have to watch this again, but I think Joe Dirt succeeds as the white trash alternative to Forrest Gump. Joe's quest to find his parents is sort of endearing and he imparts wisdom like a redneck sage. It must be the mullet. While it's excessive toilet humor wears thin after a while, Joe Dirt excels due to it's memorable cast of characters, great soundtrack and Mr. Dirte's ability to "keep on keepin' on" in the face of adversity. It's a garden. Dig it.
2. Space Jam
You know what? On second thought, there's no shame in this. Space Jam is great. Moving on.
1. Batman and Robin
This is it. The Cardinal Sin of movie geekdom. Any self-respecting Batman fan knows that this is the worst thing to happen to the Caped Crusader since... well... ever. The auteur of awful, Joel Schumacher directs the Batman franchise into the ground with Arnold Schwarzenegger's incessant puns, the overly broad acting, the camp tone and, of course, Batsuit nipples. Still, it's one of those movies in which their existence is so puzzling that I can't help but keep coming back to it and enjoying it for the strange beast that it is. A heaping of nostalgia doesn't hurt. It was a lot of fun as a kid.It's also comforting to know that if this hadn't been such a mess then we may not have had Christopher Nolan's masterful trilogy some years later. So, it's a good history lesson.
As you can probably tell, I'm reaching here. This one is about as inexcusable as it gets. I can't really explain it, but Batman and Robin is my ultimate guilty pleasure. Since I'm doing a poor job at justifying my love for such a train wreck, I'll let Mr. Freeze explain it for me:
This one gets points mostly for the fact that it's easily the weirdest thing that Adam Sandler has ever done and, by extension, one of the most creative. This zany high-concept comedy tasks Sandler with playing Nicky, the sweet-natured son of the devil (Harvey Keitel in a perfectly nutty performance) who must go to Earth to prevent his two brothers from literally unleashing Hell there. Filled to the brim with a cast of funny faces and excellent cameos (including Quentin Tarantino as a blind doom-spewing priest), the movie is so wacky that it's impossible for me not to succumb to its odd charms.
3. Joe Dirt
Some people would probably rather have Christopher Walken stab them in the face with a soldering iron than to have to watch this again, but I think Joe Dirt succeeds as the white trash alternative to Forrest Gump. Joe's quest to find his parents is sort of endearing and he imparts wisdom like a redneck sage. It must be the mullet. While it's excessive toilet humor wears thin after a while, Joe Dirt excels due to it's memorable cast of characters, great soundtrack and Mr. Dirte's ability to "keep on keepin' on" in the face of adversity. It's a garden. Dig it.
2. Space Jam
You know what? On second thought, there's no shame in this. Space Jam is great. Moving on.
1. Batman and Robin
This is it. The Cardinal Sin of movie geekdom. Any self-respecting Batman fan knows that this is the worst thing to happen to the Caped Crusader since... well... ever. The auteur of awful, Joel Schumacher directs the Batman franchise into the ground with Arnold Schwarzenegger's incessant puns, the overly broad acting, the camp tone and, of course, Batsuit nipples. Still, it's one of those movies in which their existence is so puzzling that I can't help but keep coming back to it and enjoying it for the strange beast that it is. A heaping of nostalgia doesn't hurt. It was a lot of fun as a kid.It's also comforting to know that if this hadn't been such a mess then we may not have had Christopher Nolan's masterful trilogy some years later. So, it's a good history lesson.
As you can probably tell, I'm reaching here. This one is about as inexcusable as it gets. I can't really explain it, but Batman and Robin is my ultimate guilty pleasure. Since I'm doing a poor job at justifying my love for such a train wreck, I'll let Mr. Freeze explain it for me:
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